Part 2 "Waiting To Be Found"

Where does our obsession with perfection come from? This utopia that supposedly existed thousands of years ago and now rests at the bottom of the sea has captivated our minds since Plato's account of it was discovered. Several millennia later we continue to use the sunken city as inspiration for all regimes of art and literature. My most recent c.d. purchase, a band called Deas Vail, has a beautiful song that shows the darker side of the perfect city. Of all the stories about the underwater haven, this is my favorite. The songs beginning pulls you in with the phrase, "No ones gonna find us here, no rescue is coming." Is that not what Atlantis is all about? Getting away from the imperfections of the world, it must have seemed like a good idea. Why do we strive for this perfection? Why do we think perfection can be created by imperfect beings? The idea of Atlantis reminds me of Babylon. We want to be noticed, "we are waiting to be found." For some reason we think our perfect deeds will get God's attention. But as is said in the Bible, our good deeds are, in simple terms- nothing to God. Our good deeds are trash. What may have begun with good intentions at Babylon, soon consumed the hearts and minds of the people. They wanted to be on level with God.

Now, although Atlantis may not have existed it's very easy to assume that the mere idea of it was out of the same intentions of the Babylonians; to make ourselves know. But, the biggest flaw about this utopia; it becomes a trap. In our efforts to be on the same level as God, we buried ourselves...

"Stuck in a world of water and glass... of recycled air, and years that have passed."

"At The Bottom Of The Earth" Part 1

One of man's greatest and most imaginative ideas. To our knowledge it is merely a story, there is no record of it's existence. Atlantis, the city beneath the sea, a project that would surely take the best of the best to complete. This city could be the beginning of many things, the first being world peace. We cannot expect to handle something this gargantuan by ourselves; this will require the world brightest minds, and deepest pockets.

Just imagine what life would be like under the surface! A world of winding hallways through the depths of the Atlantic. A community thriving along with the inhabitants of the deep Pacific. Surrounded by water, reinforced glass, and silence; there would be no safer place on earth. Sunlight may not be as sufficient underneath, but it would be a disease free enviorment. The food might not be home grown, but it will be prepared by the best in the business. Every now and then the underwater utopia might seem dank, fear not, we could visit the surface once a year; just long enough to remind you of how bad life used to be. Atlantis. It would be perfect...

Part 2 Coming

Letter To Myself #1

So you've got a paper do tomorrow in english. You seem pretty confident in yourself. It may be the best paper on the planet BUT I couldn't care less, because if you keep not-sleeping I'll get pretty angry. So finish up, print it out, get some sleep.

Love,

Me

Not a Distraction #3

10/28/09, 11:20 AM during Music Class

Rules of the Walkway

Almost like being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Anyone who has fallen behind a slower person on a busy sidewalk will question what could have been done to avoid the situation. Fortunately I have come up with a polite way to pass slow walkers, while still avoiding people walking in the opposite direction.

• Get off the sidewalk, walk around the person, re-enter the sidewalk at desired speed.

Now many people may think, "I could've thought of that," or even, "It's too muddy to do that." Well, in situations where any terrain other than sidewalk is just not doable I suggest this:

• Wait until there is NO TRAFFIC coming from the opposite direction and then pass the person quickly and politely.

This method can be very dangerous though. If you are unable to get ahead of the slow person before the traffic builds up again you will look like an idiot. I say this because as soon as trouble comes you will have to either back off (shot to the pride), or try to get right up in the slow walker's business, almost knocking them off the sidewalk (rude). This is why I must point out it is sometimes better to just patiently wait behind the slow walker to avoid humiliation.

Im hoping this has helped you. And now that you've been educated on sidewalk policies you will sow kindness to the next poor soul who tries to pass you in heavy traffic. If, like in my case, you find yourself being passed while you're the one behind the slow walker just allow the speed demon to pass on.

Thank You For Your Interest In Our New Slow People Protection Program (SPPP).

-Blake J.

Senior Director

Beautiful Lies

Dear Stranger in the Sea,

I stood my ground, I knew the call meant danger. You tempt those without the Lifeguard though, you call them to your shores. you weaved beautiful lies and planted them in their head. You told them they could never be enough, you told them you were the truth. Blinded by fear and depression they followed your call, wading deeper into the waters. Your waves lapped at their feet, creating more fear, and anxiety in their weak heart. Your lies filling their mind, driving them to the edge. You promised them the truth, but they couldn't have been farther. As a last ditch effort they try to find someone else to take the pain and lies away. You told them it would all be over soon... all they had to do was dive.

Bottles emptied, pills downed, triggers pulled, ledges left, and you smiled. You drew them in, and then pushed them over the edge. You've made an enemy now, and I won't let your lies go unnoticed.

Blake Johnson

What the...? #1

We've all been there; Church camp, Wednesday nights, or the occasional weekend retreat. Something everyone has experienced once in their life at these events: Youth Group Games.

Stick with me for a few sentences here; how many times have you done some type of fun you game (i.e. relays, or "circle games") only to leave asking yourself, "who thought of this?" Seriously, ever play the circle games "Never have I ever" or "Honey if you love me smile?" Depending on the congregation you choose these games could take a wrong turn. And these are just the church games, think about the types of games that are involved at retreats and camps. One that comes to mind is trying to fill a bucket of water by passing cups between people's legs. I can recall a few experiences where I left a game (that my team had won of course) asking, "who comes up with this stuff?" Is there a committee that meets each year, or is it just a job that falls upon the guy that can't be trusted with any other job, but his church wants everyone to participate so they give him that job (run on sentence much)?

Alan: "Susan who are we gonna get to set up the camp games this year?

Susan: "What about Bob Jackson?"

Alan: "You mean "Uncle" Bob Jackson?"

Susan: "Yeah, we couldn't put him at the camp, and this is the only other job available."

Now, Im not implying that all games at church can be inappropriate, I have had a lot of fun at different camps and events over the years. What I am saying though, is that we need to have a little more discernment when designing these games.

What is the most awkward game you've played at a church event?

Visits To The Math Lab

While In Math Lab This Afternoon I Decided To Write Out My Feelings Towards That Which I Hate Most.

Dear Math,

I've paced my room for days on end, digging a rut into the carpet; and for what? Im not going to say I hate you, on the contrary, I actually love you and all that you stand for as a form of education. but my love for you is like that which I have towards annoying relatives.. I don't want to see you as often as I probably should, and I may call you evil behind your back, and I occasionally will skip my visit to go to another computer lab that is just as far out of my way. Sometimes though, I just sit in my room and think of what I could accomplish if you didn't exist.

For all this my sweet Math Lab, I apologize. I will continue to call you evil, and make fun of you, but I promise I'll visit more often and act like I enjoy my time with you, when in reality Im going to be thinking about my weekend... and food.

Much Love,

(but not too much)

Blake J.

Not a Distraction #2

10/22/09 in waiting for Political Science to start.

Ever wear a band-aid on your finger? If you haven't you should, because it is delightful.

Okay seriously, a band-aid on your finger (or even worse, a thumb) is one the most annoying experiences in life, especially if it's on the tip of the finger (or thumb). I mean, as if it's not bad enough you have a cut or blister (in my case, a cut of unknown origins), but then you have to put a band-aid on it; most of the time in an awkward set that makes any finger/thumb movements feel weird. Now, I am all for band-aids. Band-Aids are the bee's knees, especially if they have some kind of graphic or cartoon on them (my personal fav's are Scooby-Doo and Rugrats (representin' the inner 90's child)); but The Band-Aid on the edge of ones finger or thumb interferes with EVERYTHING.

1. Awkward wrap causes limited bending movement in finger/thumb.
2. There's usually a little flap of bandage sticking off the top of the finger/thumb that gets really dirty.
3. About halfway through the day it feels like the 'aid is slipping off.
4. Can't text with a thumb bandage on.
5. No sense of feel in the wrapped area.
6. Once band-aid is removed, your finger/thumb feels like its been soaking in water all day.
7. It's not that 7 is a lucky number for me or anything, I just don't like ending on a number that is a multiple of 3 (unless the number ends in 5).

So that is my complaint against band-aids on the finger/thumb.

*-*

They say, "Home is where the heart is."

Where is home when your heart is broken in two?

Where is your heart when your idea of a home is broken?

<(") (that's a penguin :D)

10/15/09

-Why is there not a application on Facebook called, "The Facebook Application, Application?"

My friend kindly pointed out to me that all app's and quizzes have star ratings, but who pays attention to those? Facebook quizzes and app's are taken because someone sees there friend took it, then they take it, their friend takes it, and a cycle begins; this cannot be denied. And sure some people will be kind enough to comment on the quiz or app by saying "It's the same answer each time," or even, "Haha I was just bored" (which really means, "I really wanted to see how good of a kisser I am based on a short questionnaire, but got a bad result and so I am laughing at myself, not this quiz").

So what can we do to solve this problem? We create "The Facebook Application, Application" an app that rates all quizzes and applications, based on reviews from the writers of "A Goofy Movie." This is a fool-proof plan; with this application the amount of time wasted on Facebook by the average user would go up at least 15%, because now people would be doing quizzes and app's that they would be interested in, thus they won't get frustrated with results like "You Die First In The Zombiepocalypse" (how was I supposed to know a bear wouldn't help in a zombie invasion?).

Well world, you had a problem, and this is my solution. Good luck putting it together, and I cannot wait to test out "The Facebook Application, Application."

8)

10/22/09

A lot of people, when asked what they would do with a large sum of money usually have an answer that involves a donation. So let me ask; is it a want if you plan to give it away? If we want a million dollars, with intent on giving away half, don't we really just want half a million?

English Paper

Paper I did for my english class, we had to create a named and unnamed drama/readers, I got an A and thought it was a pretty good paper. This is a letter between Steve Black, and Steve White (too lazy to edit out the mistakes).

Welcome To Life

Dear Steven,

First of all, I’d like to thank you for this opportunity. I was afraid I would be unable to get this message to you. I’ve noticed some changes in you lately, and I am beginning to worry about you. My biggest concern at the moment is that you’ve neglected to take the medication Doc prescribed. I’m wondering if you understand what that little pill does for you, how it affects our relationship, or how it affects everything that makes you human. So, in a way I am thankful for your ignorance, because from what I hear things have gotten pretty bad.

Remember how we met? That day two years ago, to be cliché I guess you could say it feels as if it were yesterday. You’ve changed so much since that day, and for the most part it has been a pretty good transition. I thought that I had been an improvement to your life, that you needed me. But now I can see that I’ve come to be your biggest fear. Fear, the very emotion that had helped bring me to life… It was raining that day. And as tradition on rainy days you had some buddies over to play video games all day, and as usual you didn’t have enough food in the house. So you collected some cash, got in the car, and proceeded to the local pizza parlor, leaving your “friends” at your house.

“So tell me Steven, what happened?” That’s what they all said, the psychologists, the specialists, your family, and even the church staff. And each time you died a little inside, while I on the other hand was flourishing. One question I always wanted to ask (but was unable to because- well you know) was; did you enjoy it? I mean sure there was a lot of fear, hate and anger, but there must have been some joy in it.

Anger, the second ingredient that fuels me and keeps me going each day, an emotion that had been felt quite a bit that day as it was. It all started when Trevor was picking on Amy, making lewd suggestions when she was out of the room, always trying to rub up against her when she was in the room. It drove you crazy, I mean who wouldn’t be angry? She is your baby sister. But because you were weak you just let it go. Unfortunately that was not your biggest mistake, unlike other big mistakes you have made lately. Like when you punched Ryan, the one person who stuck by you through all the hell you’ve been through these past two years. I remember the look on his face, a mixture of shock, fear, anger, and sorrow. Your best friend Steven! He was all you had!

So you made way towards the pizza place, trying to put Trevor’s actions in the past. But you couldn’t, the anger just built up in you like a tumor, it was uncertain what would happen next. As you approached the house you noticed some of the guys walking out, all except Trevor and his guest Eric. Filled with fear, you took off into the house, anger welling up to a dangerous level, your eyes burning, and your heart racing… I am not sure what a real birth is like, but compared to mine I would say it was far from miraculous. Conceived through a mixture of hate, anger, love, fear, anxiety, and passion- I had arrived. And as you raced up the stairs towards the game room you heard muffled screams, your heart dropped, your blood pressure rose, and something snapped. Almost as if you knew what was happening before you’d seen it you ran in and yanked Eric up throwing him against the glass bookshelf in one beautiful motion. It was as if you were watching it happen from outside of your conscious mind, you could see it happening as if it were someone else controlling you. And until a month later you didn’t have a clue as to what had really happened.

I remember the moment well; it was like waking up from a long slumber. Anger, hate, and fear, became my life force, and as I came to the realization of what was going on I took action. Something you could never do, one of the many things I was better at than you… The screams continued, and as you- I mean, as I looked down I saw that which brought me to life. Trevor. The guy whom at one point in your life had been a great friend, whom had saved your rear-end on numerous occasions from bullies as a child; and now the man who caused you so much pain and grief.

After the incident you had seen a lot of doctors, but it was Doc who found the right stuff for you. That medication was changing your life, almost giving back everything you’d lost, or at least the things that could be replaced. After a week on the med’s I became very tired. After a month I didn’t even want to leave my place. And finally after two months on that pill I had fallen asleep, assumed to be dead, it was assumed that I’d be gone for good. I’d almost thought the same thing… Yet here I am, a year later, like being born again… The first birth was my favorite of the two though, awakening to a very frightened Eric staring me in the eyes as if to say, “Welcome to life!” I saw the fear in his eyes and it gave me strength. I threw him into the shelf and smiled as the books fell onto him, and then I turned my attention to Trevor, scent of lust, fear, and anxiety sent me into frenzy. He never expected it, not from you anyway. Fortunately, it was me that had destroyed his face and proceeded to break his arm. But you enjoyed it, thatwhich you could not do, I did. Those who you would have once feared conflict with, I defeated.

No one bought the story though. No one believed you when you pleaded to have been controlled by some “otherworldly force.” Tell you the truth I hadn’t expected them to, but one man did understand. And so as you know, we made a visit to Doc and in one appointment he prescribed you the right stuff. It worked well, from what I’ve seen you seemed to have gotten your life back in order. But you stopped taking the medicine. Why? I was finished, I was just a nightmare that had come and gone- yet HERE I AM!

After I had finished taking care of Trevor I saw Amy, clothes ripped, hair tangled, crying. That’s when you stepped back into reality and I took my place on the sideline watching to see what you would do. Eric covered with books and glass, Trevor bleeding, bruised, and unconscious. But it wasn’t finished; apparently my actions had inspired you, because after the sight of Amy, Trevor and Eric on the floor you felt it wasn’t enough. And so your testimony was tarnished.

The next week the sun stayed out, juxtaposing the gloom that had fallen over the cemetery. But you wouldn’t know it; you didn’t show up that day. And so here we are, what should just be You, has become Us once more. From what I hear you’ve become quite the troublemaker, apparently someone called you Steve the other day, and I wasn’t there. This is not you Steven; you are much better than me, although I hate to admit it I know it’s true. I cannot function in society, whereas you excel in society. Please don’t travel down the path that brought me here, I may enjoy it, but I know what it will do to you. So take your medicine, forget I ever existed, apologize to Ryan, and get your life back.

It’s like what dad said after the incident, “Life is confusing, and although you wish you could control it you cant. But what you can control, control it with passion and ferocity as if it were a beast waiting to break free. Son you can’t blame yourself for what happened, that was not you. Like the Apostle Paul, this is just a thorn Satan has put into your side.” So Steven I ask you to take your medicine, and keep the beast from breaking through. I may be all that you wish you could be, but there is a reason you are not. So take the medicine Steven; if not for me do it for Amy, she misses you, I may have defended her, but you were there to comfort her. She told me the other day that you had started struggling again. Its funny because I didn’t even say it was me she was talking to, she’s a really bright girl and she needs her big brother. That was always something you were better at than me. Love, something that is still foreign to me, take the medicine Steven and be you, not me, you.

Take the medicine Steven…

Love,

Steve

"...And It Opened Up My Eyes, I Saw The Sign"

So I've always wanted to be used by God as a "sign" in someone's life. Kinda like in movies or on T.V. when a character sees some random billboard about nothing and they have an epiphany, causing them to change their ways. I figured that somehow I could maybe write some random phrases and God could use them to answer someone's prayers... maybe.

When I was thinking about what I could write to help give people insight I discovered that the most effective phrases were between 2-5 words, so here goes nothing:

1. Do it.
2. Don't do it.
3. What would Jesus do?
4. What would your mamma think?

So hopefully I have helped in changing someone's life today; and although I may not have provided you with the answer you needed, don't give up on that prayer. If it is God's will in your life He will make it happen. You don't need to rely on your own power to make things happen.

Blake J.

I Still Love Target

To Walmart:

Walmart, I would like to thank you for having me this morning. Where most stores were closed at this time, you didn't fail. While most are asleep, you keep the lights on for those who might need Scooby-Doo band-aides at one AM. You may cast a weary eye upon me as I parade your aisles; but so long as I pay, you allow my horseplay.

Walmart, I thank you for hosting my party. We feel like we overstayed our welcome, but you said nothing of it. Walmart, I feel like we've grown so close these past few weeks, but unfortunately- I still love Target.

Im sorry,

Blake

Not a Distraction #1

10/7/09 Around 12:18 AM in Math Lab

The wind was howling, but it could have been a whisper.

The sun was bright, but it could have been dusk.

We sat hand-in-hand, but I could have been alone.

The world came to life before our eyes, but we could have been blind.

The music played throughout the streets, but we could have been deaf...

10/7/09 in Music Class

If I could write my heart onto paper, if I could give it all that I have. If I somehow put my scattered thoughts into scattered words, I would... I think.

There are so man times that I wish I could hit the call button on my phone and have God pick up. It's not that prayer is a difficult concept, sometimes I just want the feeling that Im having a conversation, like with any other person.

But usually Im the one giving advice on the phone. Im horrible at taking advice. Just give me the facts, numbers, and statistics, and then I'll ignore them for my decision...

I then went on to write three pages of a story.

10/12/09 Around 11:58 PM- Sitting in my dorm.

If life were an assortment of candies, we'd all be in trouble. Sometimes it is sweet, sometimes it is sour. Life can be a delicacy to most, it has those "delicious" moments that we never want to end. And every so often life can be bitter, like that disgusting piece in the assortment that looked tasty at first. Life can have pleasant surprises, or distasteful consequences. Sometimes it is labeled, sometimes we must take a chance. At times we share our candy, but other times we hide it from the world, never to be seen. In the end we need to cherish our candies. Because one day we'll run out, thus removing a piece from the assortment of those we love.

Around 11:15 PM- Sitting in my dorm.

Beautiful eyes, will you look at me tonight. "You say everything is just right," say your beautiful eyes. And I would say it once more. You stare into mine, and for a moment in time, I feel as if I can see everything about you, did you feel that too? Beautiful eyes, life is perfect. Beautiful eyes, I can now see. Beautiful eyes, I can finally see, and now I understand what shines through you. Beautiful smile, you cause me to do the same, though its radiance cannot compare. Beautiful smile, you bring me to my knees, this world vanishes, I am finally at peace. Beautiful smile, if I am to see you more, I must first rid myself of all the evil. And if I can see you for one more second than the time I've already had, it would all be worth it, and the peace would return. Beautiful love, how I've awaited your return. Beautiful love, I pray that you will stay. My eyes are bright, my smile is wide, and the long lost peace has returned like a prodigal son; I accept it gladly. Beautiful love, I love you so much Beautiful love will you allow me to gaze?

Beautiful will you flash that smile? Beautiful, will you show me your love? Hello Beautiful, my eyes are bright, my smile is wide, this moment is right. The love is there, and the peace has settled in. Hello Beautiful, won't you stay?

Welcome (again)!

Alright everyone, I've always wanted to do something like this. A blog aside from Fighting Statistics that is just my thoughts on anything. Most of the time it could be some free writing I've done, sometimes it could be an opinion post (like why do cereal commercials say "part of a complete breakfast" what is a complete breakfast? If we could eat a complete breakfast why would we be having cereal?). So be ready for me to get started fast since I already have a lot of stuff to post.

Blake J